Last night I awoke from one of the best dreams I have had. Why was it so wonderful? Because Stephen Colbert made his debut appearance. Without further ado...
My mother and I were walking through Burger King in much anticipation of food. Covering the walls were artistic photos of chicken nuggets, Asian style: orange chicken, sweet and sour chicken, barbeque chicken, peanut chicken. In a voice of hushed awe my mother was commenting on how delicious their new chicken looked. Exasperatedly I told her it was a marketing ploy, the entrees were just chicken nuggets covered in sauce. They were charging more money to put the sauce on for you, and I wasn't going to be deceived. As we sat to eat our fancy nuggets, I noticed Stephen Colbert sitting adjacent to us. I was soooooo excited, he's my fav! He was in a navy suit, and his hair was so voluminous and perfectly styled, like a news anchor. He was busy talking with someone, but I could not help myself from interrupting. I skipped over there and very giddily started gushing about how much I loved his show. "Thanks, I love my show too. You're pretty even though you need to lose weight." (Even my subconscious won't forgive the extra weight that comes along with carrying a child) "Well that was rude, but that's why I LOVE you. You're candor and sharp wit are so refreshing and hilarious and I can't get enough of it. The best moment of my television viewing career was when you and Placido Domingo sang La Donna E Mobile. Brilliant! I had to tune my Pandora in to the opera station for the rest of the day. I love that song and I always sing it but make up my own words. (read this part in an operatic voice) I had orange chicken, but it was not that good, next time I'll order, the whopper value meal..." I'll spare you the latter 5 mintues of raving about how awesome he is. "Will you be in a photo with me?" At this moment a snooty high school classmate of mine showed up to take our photo. The first photo was normal, just smiles. But as we kept talking somehow we ended up sitting on the floor, and the snooty girl said, "Oh my gosh, are yall posing like a praying mantis?" I looked at us and our bodies had made a replica of said praying mantis, he was the arms and head, I was the body. Amidst uproarious laughter I told her she MUST photograph this moment. Then Colbert suggested we take more fun photos. "Here, let's make a circle. I'll be the bottom part!" So he laid on the floor and stuck his arms and legs in the air expecting me to match my feet and hands to his for him to hold me in the air. (Funny and strong) It took a few tries, but we somehow managed to form a very wobbly circle. (The whole time the snooty girl was making faces and talking crap but I didn't care. I mean, I got to hang out with Colbert!)
This is where I woke up, in a dark room, Colbert nowhere to be found. I knew that tomorrow would be the day I began blogging. Then I started thinking, what if my dream blog became famous and I got to meet Colbert and we reenacted the praying mantis photo on his show!!? These things seem more likely at 3am. For your entertainment, here is the video of said magical duet...
No comments:
Post a Comment